“Solution to SBW Crisis: Black Women Should Just Marry Each Other”

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Please take note of the overt sarcasm in this article. It also has some expletive language, but I thought the writer highlighted great points which is why I chose to write about it.

http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2013/02/solution-to-sbw-crisis-black-women-should-just-marry-each-other/

This article is a lot more playful and sarcastic than the other articles I have written about. I think this article serves two purposes. First, I think this article highlights major points of the discussions that have been circulating around this topic. Some of the points (unfortunately given by blacks themselves) have been ridiculous and Demetria Lucas does a good job at showing just how utterly ridiculous they are. Second, I think this article serves to make light of this so called marriage “crisis”. It seems as if people have taken this topic too far in exaggeration and sometimes it takes a little sarcasm and satire like this to bring us back to reality. While I found this article to be very funny (I actually laughed out loud while reading it) and comical, I also think that it is sobering and reminds me to not buy into it.

After reading this article, once my laughter ceased, I started thinking. How did black women get here? One would think that having an education and being self-sufficient would yield better results from society than what have been given. Black women in college and who graduate out number black men a great deal. Black women are proving that they can pull themselves up from their bootstraps and do well for themselves. Black women have always exuded diligence and resilience in tough times. After slavery, black women fought hard to reclaim their sexuality, their families, and their marriages. Throughout the first half of the 20th century (c. 1920s- 1960s) black women had to fight to show not only whites, but black men as well, that they were powerful. Through movements such as but not limited to the washerwomen movement, women clubs movement and  even the civil rights movement, black women worked hard to show that they were intellectuals and they could do more than just sit around waiting to get married and have children. With many more struggles between then and now, black women have always fought to prove themselves to society. Today I see an exorbitant amount of impressive and influential black women who are educated, successful, and diligent. Seeing that I am not the only person in the world, I know that society has seen this from black women as well. So why are people exaggerating this marriage topic? It is as if to say that black women put all of their worth and value in a marriage. I do not say that to portray marriage as being insignificant; however, marriage shouldn’t define a woman but compliment where she already is in her life. It isn’t a destination, it’s the start of a lifestyle and partnership.  Although I understand that not all black women are like I described, and that’s okay, but not every women is sitting around beckoning for marriage while crying in her pillow every night. This is what society and the media is portraying. I feel like society is taunting black women saying, “yea you’re educated, yes you have a successful life, but you will never get married and will never be complete.” The ABC Nightline  report that Lucas refers to is titled “Single, Black, Female– and Plenty of Company”. This title to me insinuates that there are just so many black women who aren’t whole or fulfilled because they are single. For some women that might be true, but that isn’t that case for all black women. In my opinion, society and the media are controlling this stigma and complex just like a puppeteer. Black women need to realize this. Therefore, I thought it was funny and well-needed that Lucas satirizes this topic in such a way to make women (and society for that matter) see the amount of foolish attention this is getting. Again, I am not trying to downplay the fact that this may indeed be a serious problem for SOME women, but let’s not make this out to be an every-black-woman problem. It certainly is not, even though some have gone to great lengths to do just that.

ABC Nightline article:

http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/single-black-females/story?id=9395275#.UWH3dlsaenY

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4 thoughts on ““Solution to SBW Crisis: Black Women Should Just Marry Each Other”

  1. I agree, marriage is not a big problem for every black woman, however it is a big deal for some. Many women do not feel complete unless they are married because of pressure put on by their families. Many women see marriage as a goal that has to be accomplished before death, that marriage will fix many of their problems. However, many fail to believe that marriage can cause some problems because it is caring for more than one person and not just having to deal with oneself but consider their partners feelings in their decisions. Many women are choosing the career lifestyle because they want to be independent and live their life the way they want before having to change that and consider others.

  2. This is really insightful to read and I did find myself laughing as well. I feel as though there is alot of pressure surrounding marriage and the ideology of happiness.

  3. I really liked the strong sarcastic delivery of such important issues, in this article. I also really enjoyed your comment regarding society taunting Black women with marriage and facilitating the belief that they will never be complete without it. Through this message, Black women are once again told that they are not good enough. Despite whatever success and achievements they receive, they will never truly make it!

  4. There is a lot of pressure to get married, and some well done satire certainly lightens the mood. I agree with the comment above, putting pressure on black women to get married does reinforce the idea they aren’t “complete” without a man. There is nothing wrong with choosing either way.

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